you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
