At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
