she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
