I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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