I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
