i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
