my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
