Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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