Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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