What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
