Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
