I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
