We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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