is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
