let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's the barista slut.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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