Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i think my cat just said my name.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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