And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
