But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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