why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
