Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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