I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
