I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
