i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
