Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
