# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
