But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
