I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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