Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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