I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
