I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
