I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
