honey bunches of taint.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
