Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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