I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
