this beer tastes like vomit already
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
