is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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