I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
