I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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