If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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