i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
