I cockslap morals
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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