You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
