so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
