No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
