turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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