Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
