just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
