genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
