i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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