Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
