all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
