girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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